A Extremely Sexy Beginner's Guide to BDSM Words That You Need to Know
An Extremely Sexy Beginner's Guide to BDSM Words That you need to know - Sweet Dream Beauty |
The world of BDSM contains not only its
own sex acts (Is smelling a foot sex? Sure, if it gets you off!), but its own
highly-robust vocabulary, too. Since all that terminology can be intimidating
for newcomers, let’s start with the basics: “BDSM” stands for bondage and
discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism—the core pillars of
kinky fun. Beyond that, there’s a whole language to describe the consensual
power exchange practices that take place under the BDSM umbrella. Whatever
you're into, just make sure to snuggle and practice lots of aftercare when it's
all said and done, especially if anyone involved is a painslut and needs ice
after some impact play.
At press time, “kink” is not a language
you can learn on Duolingo, so here’s a handy glossary of some of the most
common BDSM terms, from A to Z.
A is for Aftercare
Aftercare is the practice of checking in
with one another after a scene (or “play session,” a.k.a., the time in which
the BDSM happens) to make sure all parties feel nice and chill about what just
went down. The dominant partner may bring the submissive ice for any bruises,
but it’s important to know that aftercare involves emotional care as well as
physical. BDSM releases endorphins, which can lead to both dominants and
submissives experiencing a “drop.” Aftercare can help prevent that. There’s
often cuddling and always conversation; kinksters need love too.
B is for Bondage
Bondage is the act of tying one another
up. In most cases, the dominant partner is restraining the submissive using
ropes, handcuffs, Velcro, speciality hooks, clasps, or simply a belt if you’re
on a budget.
C is for Cuckold
We can’t let the alt-right ruin the term
“cuck” for us. Traditionally, a cuck is a man who enjoys, often for submissive
and erotic humiliation reasons, watching another man have sex with his wife. In
a cuckolding scene, the other man invited to have sex with the wife is a
“bull.” Female cucks are referred to as “cuck queens,” but people of all
genders can be cucks.
D is for D/S
D/S refers to dominance and submission,
the crux of a BDSM relationship. While kinky people can be on a spectrum (see:
“Switch”), typically you’re either dominant or submissive. If you take away one
fact from this guide, it should be that even though the dominant partner in the
D/S relationship may be slapping, name-calling, and spitting on the submissive,
BDSM and D/S relationships are all about erotic power exchange, not one person
having power over another. The submissive gets to set their boundaries, and
everything is pre-negotiated. The submissive likes getting slapped (see also:
“Painslut”).
E is for Edgeplay
Edgeplay refers to the risky shit—the
more taboo (or baddest bitch, depending on who you’re talking to) end of the
spectrum of BDSM activities. Everyone’s definition of edgeplay is a little
different, but blood or knife play is a good example. If there is actually a
chance of real physical harm, it is likely edge play. Only get bloody with a
partner who knows what they are doing without a doubt and has been tested for
STIs. You do not have to get maimed to enjoy BDSM.
F is for Foot Fetish
One of the most common fetishes out
there, a foot fetish is an attraction—often a need—for feet. Foot fetishists
may enjoy worshipping afoot, kissing it, smelling it, massaging it, getting a
footjob, licking it, sucking on toes, or (actually) getting stepped on.
G is for Golden Showers
A golden shower is when you lovingly
shower your partner with your piss. It’s high time for the BDSM community to
reclaim this word from Donald Trump, who, may I remind you, allegedly paid sex
workers to pee on a bed that Obama slept in out of spite. This is not the same
thing as a golden shower. Kink is for smart people.
H is for Hard Limits
Hard limits are sexual acts that are
off-limits. Everyone has their own, and you have to discuss these boundaries
before any BDSM play. Use it in a sentence: “Please do not pee on me; golden
showers are one of my hard limits.”
I is for Impact Play
Impact play refers to any impact on the
body, such as spanking, caning, flogging, slapping, etc.
J is for Japanese Bondage
The most well-known type of Japanese
bondage is Shibari, in which one partner ties up the other in beautiful and
intricate patterns using a rope. It is a method of restraint, but also an art
form.
K is for Knife Play
Knife play is, well, knife sex. It’s
considered a form of edge play (our parents told us not to play with knives for
a reason.) If you do play with knives, do it with someone who truly respects
you and whom you trust. Often knife play doesn’t actually involve drawing blood
but is done more for the psychological thrill, such as gliding a knife along a
partner’s body to induce an adrenaline rush. Call me a prude, but I would not
advise it on a first Tinder date.
L is for Leather
The BDSM community enjoys leather as much
as you would expect. Leather shorts, leather paddles, and leather corsets are
popular, although increasingly kinky retailers provide vegan options for their
animal-loving geeks.
M is for Masochist
A masochist is someone who gets off on
receiving sexual pain.
N is for Needle Play
In addition, a form of edge play
(blood!), needle play means using needles on a partner. Hopefully, those
needles are sterile and surgical grade. Do not do this with an idiot, please.
Most professional dommes have clients who request or are into needle play. It
can involve sticking a needle (temporarily) through an erogenous zone such as
the nipple or... BACK AWAY NOW IF YOU ARE QUEASY... the shaft of the penis.
O is for Orgasm Denial
Do you know how sexual anticipation is
hot AF? Orgasm denial is next-level sexual anticipation for those who love a
throbbing clit or a boner that has been hard forever just dying to get
off—which is to say, almost everyone. The dominant partner will typically bring
the submissive close or to the brink of orgasm, then stop. Repeat as necessary.
P is for Painslut
A painslut is a dope-ass submissive who
knows what they want, and that is pain, dammit.
Q is for Queening
Queening is when a woman, a.k.a. the
queen you must worship, sits on your face. It’s just a glam name for
face-sitting, often used in D/S play. Sometimes the queen will sit on her submissive’
s face for like, hours.
R is for RACK
RACK stands for Risk Aware Consensual
Kink, which are the BDSM community guidelines on how to make sure everyone is
aware of the dangers they consent to. Another set of guidelines is the “SSC,”
which stresses keeping activities “safe, sane, and consensual.” We kinksters
want everyone to feel happy and fulfilled, and only experience pain that they
desire—without actual harm.
S is for Switch
A switch is someone who enjoys both the
dominant and submissive roles. Get thee a girl who can do both.
T is for Topping from the Bottom
Topping from the bottom refers to when a
bottom (sub) gets bratty and tries to control the scene even though
negotiations state they should submit. For example, a submissive male may start
yelping at his dome that she is not making him smell her feet exactly as he
wants. It can be annoying. It can also be part of the scene itself, such as if
the submissive is roleplaying as a little girl with her daddy (this is called
“age play”).
U is for Urination
Urinating means peeing (duh) and aside
from pissing on a submissive’s face or in their mouth you can do other cool and
consensual things with urine, like fill up an enema and inject it up to
someone’s butt! I am not a medical doctor.
V is for Voyeurism
A voyeur is someone who enjoys watching
others have sex, undress, or whatever floats your erection boat. Voyeurs can
get a bad name because we think of peeping Toms, but there are lots of
wonderful ways for voyeurs to consensually engage with their kinks, such as
going to a play (sex) party or kink event. Voyeurs watch the exhibitionists and
everyone wins.
W is for Wartenberg Wheel
A Wartenberg Wheel is a nifty little
metal pinwheel that you can run over your partner’s nipples or other erogenous
zones. It looks scary, but in a fun way, like the Addams Family. It can be used
as part of the medical play (doctor fetish) or just for the hell of it. Fun
fact: It is a real-life medical device created by neurologist Robert Wartenberg
to test nerve reactions, but kinksters figured out it was good for the sex,
too.
Y is for Yes!
BDSM is all about enthusiastic consent.
The dominant partner will not step on their submissive’ s head and then shove
it into a toilet without a big ole’ “yes, please!”
Z is for Zentai
Zentai is a skintight Japanese bodysuit
typically made of spandex and nylon. It can cover the entire body, including
the face. Dance teams or athletes may wear Zentai, but some people get off on
the sensation of having their entire body bound in tight fabric, and wear it
for kinky reasons.
Enjoy your new vocabulary, pervs!
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